The Ultimate SPAM Tactic to Make You Rich

The Formula for Spam Success

by Christopher Wendels on september 22, 2010

This post has been a long time coming. I watched the movie “Hot Tub Time Machine“, which wasn’t all that great. Except for one tiny little detail.

What about Twitter, whatever the fuck that is. Hey, we could combine Twitter with fucking Viagra … Twittagra!

I laughed so hard I had trouble breathing. Then, all of a sudden I just stopped. I realized the brilliance of the mastermind behind that script.

Brilliant Idea to Get RichTwo Parts of Brilliance
The first part lies in the first part of the quote. It illustrates why spam could work so well. People, your average Joe Bloggs I mean, are clueless as to how certain things online work. It took people years to learn start learning just how to do email. Why do you think email scams work so well? Argue, if you will that they don’t, but then why do you still get them? When something costs money, and doesn’t make any money, it ceases to exist. There are no free lunches. Having established that people, 20 years in, still don’t have a clue on how email works; what does that tell you about an overhyped medium like Twitter?

The second part is that every person who has ever worked in Online Marketing knows that certain areas of the web are just ridden with spam. These are places like open social networks, forums, blog comments and, of course, email. The same people also know that the most common spam is stuff that people either want, but can’t get because it would require money and/or hard work, or plain and simple how-to-get-rich-fast “guides”. Stuff like performance medication, fake replica goods and pyramid schemes.
How do you explain all that in one sentence? You got it. Twittagra!

Spam Marketing for Dummies“I still don’t get it…”
I’ll break it down for you. The quote is awesome. It packs so many elements into one simple… well… word, really. Unfortunately, at the most 0,1% of the people who saw the movie understood the full brilliance.

Wait, wasn’t I promised a tactic somewhere in this post?
Yes, you were. Actually, I’ve already given it to you. Do the math. This isn’t one of those “This is so easy it made me rich in 5 minutes and now I live in the Bahamas” tactics. It’s one of those pesky “You actually have to put in some work into this” tactics. I would bet that if you aren’t smart enough to get it on your own, you are not smart enough to pull it off, but I’ll still give you a 5 step program.
Spam Marketing Explained

  1. Understand how Twitter works.
  2. No, really. Pick Twitter apart and figure out how it ticks.
  3. Find something you know people want, but can’t get.
  4. Promise this to people, and deliver. Sort of.
  5. Do this from a shell corporation in INSERT COUNTRY HERE

Do this right and you will make money for the next twenty years.
Spam Tactics Not Gone Well
Do this wrong and go to jail for the next twenty years.

Or you could always stick to your day-job. That’s what I’m planning to do…